Fertility and Family Building
What this can involve
Many clients describe fertility as the moment their sense of control over their body and timeline starts to shift. What begins as trying to conceive often becomes tracking, testing, waiting, and making decisions with incomplete information, while trying to continue life as normal. It can start to feel like something is wrong with how you are approaching it. But what is actually happening is not a reflection of effort or approach.
You are in a process that introduces uncertainty into something most people have never had to think about in this way before. Fertility is shaped by time, physiology, and factors that are only partially visible or controllable. The strategies that have worked in other areas of life, thinking your way through problems, optimizing outcomes, staying in control, do not fully apply here. This is not a personal failure. It is a mismatch between expectation, effort, and what can actually be controlled.
What this can look like
Many clients describe a cyclical experience of hope and grief happening at the same time. Each cycle, each treatment, each decision carries both possibility and loss. There is the timeline you expected, the ease you assumed, and the version of this process you thought would be yours.
Some are navigating pregnancy loss or recurrent loss, and the isolation that comes with it. Loss is common, but it is often invisible. People do not know what to say, and you may find yourself grieving privately while continuing to move through daily life.
Others are making complex decisions about treatment paths, donor conception, or building a family on their own. These choices can feel heavy, especially without clear answers about what you actually want versus what you feel you should want.
Much of this happens out of view. The people around you may not know what you are carrying, while you are managing something that is constant and hard to name.
How therapy can help
My work is to help you understand what is actually within your control and what is not, and to separate the real challenges of fertility from the shame layered on top.
In sessions, we work actively to identify what is stuck. This can include unprocessed grief, resentment toward your body or your partner, identity disruption, medical trauma, or the emotional toll of repeated uncertainty. We make space for the full range of what you are carrying while building clarity about what matters most to you in this phase.
I draw on EMDR when trauma from loss or medical procedures is present, CBT when anxiety about outcomes is intensifying, and psychoeducation to help you understand what is true about your fertility, your body, and your options.
Over time, the goal is not just to feel better. It is to feel clearer, and less caught in self-blame. To make decisions from your own values rather than fear or pressure.
What I work with
In my work with clients navigating fertility, I commonly see:
The grief and ambivalence of trying to conceive, whether naturally or through treatment
Pregnancy loss and recurrent loss
Medical trauma related to fertility procedures
Partnership strain and communication breakdown under stress
Identity disruption when your body does not do what you expected it to
Decisions about treatment paths, timing, donor conception, or building a family on your own
The isolation and invisibility of infertility
Earlier experiences that resurface during this process
How we work together
I offer individual therapy and couples work for clients navigating fertility.
Because this phase often involves medical appointments, emotional intensity, and ongoing uncertainty, therapy adapts to your capacity and timeline. Some clients come weekly during active treatment. Others come as needed when decisions feel heavy. Some bring their partner when the relationship itself needs support. As your situation changes, how we work together can change too.
I also work with clients who have completed fertility treatment, whether successful or not, to process the experience and what comes next.